Hello. Is anybody out there?
As you can probably tell, I'm still alive. My week had continued in the same vein as my last post with too much stress and drama, and not enough time or energy left to focus on myself. I did not, by any means, have my eating under control throughout my busy week of putting out fires, but at least I only binged once or twice. Even a small failure is a victory. By Sunday, (Saturday night even), though still dealing with drama I was able to regain control and to make more reasonable decisions. I think good food, like a roller coaster, or a vacation, serves a a distraction from the strain and stress of your day to day life. When you bite into a good eggroll or cheese cake, for a split second, the explosion of senses the flavor, the texture, the taste, the smell, all crowd out whatever else may be going on. Binge eating in a way is trying to force yourself into prolonged distraction, because when you stop shoving items into your mouth, you are forced to come to terms with what is really the matter... worse yet, you are forced to do so through the guilt of what you had just done.
I didn't feel guilty, guilt merely perpetuates the cycle. Instead I acknowledged it and used it to motivate adjusting myself back on track.
This week has to be better, right?
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